Ring the alarm! My son want to marry a NON ARAB!

A colleague at work just came back from a month long vacation. Everyone gathered around her and asked her how it was. We were all expecting the typical responses we always get from people who go on vacation:

1. It was SO GOOD!
2. I need a vacation from the vacation.
3. It was AMAZING! & so are the number of emails I got in my inbox! WAW!

But with this colleague, she just said "it was good" in a lackluster way. So I dug deeper and discovered she spent the vacay with her in-laws. 

That explains...a lot! Sense of formality, make sure you clean up after everyone, being on your best behavior 24/7.

Marriage is a tough thing, because apart from the "or for worse", the child bearing, and putting up with nonchalant farting, you have to impress the in laws. And if you are a non-Arab woman, GASP!!!!

A non-Arab woman marrying an Arab is an uphill battle with the in-laws and here's why:

1. How can they "research" and get references on your ass when you are completely outside their network?
2. How will they research your family credentials: education, money and/or achievements?
3. How will you bond over traditions, when you're from different cultures?
4. How will you raise the children spiritually if you're from different religions?
5. If you don't speak Arabic and all the family gatherings will be in Arabic, and then one person realizes "hey let's talk in English", and then the rest speak English for 2 minutes, then switch back, and you just sit there smiling in total confusion.
6. How will you "treat my son well" when you can't cook delicious Arabic food to the hubby?

With all these factors stacked up high against a woman, what's a girl got to do! 

PATIENCE! lots and lots, bucket loads, truck loads, 40 ft container loads. You just need to put on a happy face despite the darkest times you may be going through and smile and be polite and clean up after yourself always, and help out everyone. There are other secrets to winning over in laws, and behold the secrets. Take a deep breath, here goes:

1. EVERY time you visit the in laws, bring something with you. Extra credits if you can bake a mean cake.
2. Always wear nice clothes, extra points if you're stylish. 
3. Never wear clothes that are not modest. Take cues from how modest the family is, and be in line with that. Cleavage, mini skirts, sheer clothing, tight clothes are a no-no. Think cute, not sexy.
4. Makeup should be fresh, natural and pretty. No cakey heavy makeup, and no strong colors.
5. As soon you settle in and ask how everyone is doing, you walk straight to the kitchen and ask if you can help in any way. Insist on helping even when they say no. At least move the dishes to the table, or offer to help with the tea or drinks.
6. When you've eaten enough, and the host offers you more food, say you're so full, but the food is just so divine, you'll have one more bite. Eat it, and compliment the cooking. Often!
7. Compliment the cooking and wish you can learn to make all the amazing food.
8. After EVERY meal, pick up your dish and put it in the sink and wash it with any other dishes you may find. this is true despite the 20 girls who may beg you to stay put and relax.
9. Win the kids over. Give them extra attention, and buy some cool gifts to them. The extra attention is what will pay out the most.
10. Offer to help with kids' homework if you're good in any of the subjects they have.
11. After anyone invites you, you do the same and invite them over. Extra points if you invite them over a home-cooked meal. If no one invites you, you make the first move. If you can't cook, invite them to a nice restaurant. Ask each person what they'd like to drink, and then again what dessert they'd like to have. 
12. Keep in touch regularly. Note down the holidays, birthdays, and any important occasions, and call and wish your best. Short and sweet, but it's nice to give recognition on important occasions.
13. When you have kids, email pics of the kids regularly to the family.
14. Always ask the Arab hubby to call the family and keep in touch with them. You don't want to be accused of "stealing" the guy away from his family. Insist on visiting the family during holidays.
15. When you visit out of town in laws, buy the best gifts you can afford. Gifts so good that even if they hate you, and want to throw the gift away, they won't cause secretly they love the gifts.

Finally, give it TIME! Be the best daughter in law you can be and over time, they'll learn to love you.

It's a roller coaster to marry an Arab, but over time, it'll be a crazy fun ride!