Big Fat Arab Wedding

I last blogged in October, 3 months ago, or a million years in Internet time. I've had writer's block, been busy, moved houses, lived a little, but most of all, missed you.

During those 3 months, I've been to several important Arab events - in other words, weddings.
This utterly important day in the life of an Arab has evolved over the years. Traditionally, people married young, where the man's main desired qualities were his manners, character and his upholding of religious values. The woman's desired qualities were her family descent, her looks, her wealth, and her upholding of religious values. As such, it was not always the case that the man had a paying job, so it was quite common that the wedding was paid for by the groom's family. It was a huge affair involving family, friends, and friends of friends. Telling the world that there is a couple who now belong to each other and they invite you to join together in the aura of their happiness.

Nowadays, the desired qualities in a man are:

1. Has a good paying job, so he can support the spouse and future kids in a comfortable fashion that the bride has or has never gotten accustom to
2. Is kind, funny, sensitive, romantic, generous, a mind reader
3. Good looking, with a full head of hair, and preferably a six pack (abdominal 6 pack, not the beer)
4. Can open jars
5. Kills spiders

Breasts

Breasts are beautiful.

Breasts cushion your fall when you find yourself flat on your face.
Breasts protect your internal organs when you find a football going straight into your chest in front of a huge audience (True story. It didn't even hurt. Ball bounced halfway to field).
Breasts are floating devices. Test it, it's true.
Breasts ooze yummy delicious healthy food. I'm referring to a baby's perspective.
Breasts are a girl's best friend, they are always there for you. They're good listeners, and even hold your tears when you're crying.
Breasts are fun. Don't you enjoy how they bounce to music when you do?
Breasts are sexy.

It would be a crying shame if we lose them.

Introspection

Life after TedxDubai...
The event was extraordinary. Though none of the speakers were briefed on what to say, there was a recurring theme of: Introspection, Positivity, Dreaming, and Persistence. To start with Introspection, I thought I'd look into myself, to understand myself better so I can picture my future in the best, most realistic way.

Well, that was a can of worms!

You see, I, like many modern Arab women, am a big bunch of confetti. Modern Arab women may know who they are, know their values, but when defining them, it's a collection of many contradictions. Let me explain....

Residence...I have lived in 3 continents. One was European, the other in the Middle East, the third in North America. I know, I know, typical Arab. And in true Arab style, our family has moved for career, education, economic and political stability, so we ended up being a mix of all the places we lived in and all the travels we've made. I have very strong patriotism to where I'm from, though I've never lived there. I love the country I'm residing in now, and it's truly, completely, undoubtedly my home. As for the European and North American cities I've lived in, transit. Can't possibly be home, even though I was born in one of them.

Courtesy in DXB

UAE is a great place to live in. Architecture is mind-boggling. The speed of growth is exponential. The diversity is wider than what you would see at a UN meeting. All religions are practiced freely. Shopping is hot. Women are hot. Nightlife is big. Everything is open till late. Now we have the Dubai Metro for a stress free and cheap commute. Weather is pleasant and beaches are open year round. Local and multinational companies are plentiful. Oh, and income is tax free. With all that the UAE has to offer, why do many forget the little detail called "courtesy".

I will zoom into Dubai as this topic is more relevant in this city than in other Emirates.

During Ramadan, strict measures were in place to ensure all non fasting people refrained from eating/drinking/smoking in public. Fasting is a test for Muslims, for Muslims to refrain from eating/drinking/smoking, yet non Muslims are asked to do that too. I would much rather have the non-fasting residents refrain from this out of courtesy rather than force.

Another example, the signs in the malls requesting people to wear decent clothes, and not show public displays of affection. Are those necessary? Isn't it clear that Dubai is an Arabic Muslim city and its values, though liberal, should be respected?

Nip Snip Tuck Tuck

Isn't it common knowledge that no one is perfect? So why is everyone striving to have perfection in EVERYTHING? Now I am always striving to be better just like the next person: better work ethics, better performance, better health, better state of mind, etc..I would even work on elevating my style too, get a great haircut, learn about beauty tips. All sounds nice right?

This begs me to ask the question: with all the available things that can make women look much better, why do attractive women get plastic surgery?

I won't get into my opinion of being for or against plastic surgery, I just want to bring up whether it's necessary to get under full anesthesia in a major surgery that has its real risks when you are already an attractive woman. Maybe not a perfect woman, but no one is.

I know a woman who is a classic text book MILF, Stifler's mom (sans the leopard print and indecent behavior),

Huggy Huggy Kissy Kissy

Ramadan Kareem everyone. Mbarak aalekum il shahar :)
Today I was invited to the company Iftar party at one of the nice Dubai hotels. All was going great: there was a prayer room set up and ready, a HUGE line up of food, employees brought their families so you had kids with face paint fighting with balloon swords, people introducing their spouses to others...all in all, it was a success.

After the get together, I waited for my car at the valet (not a fan, but I couldn't find parking myself). And there it happened, I saw a male x-employee with his wife walking over to say hi, he was happy to see me and planted a kiss on my cheek. Now different Arabic women respond differently to the kiss on the cheeks (the mmwah mmwah from one cheek to the next). Their reaction falls according to the following categories:

1. Some are down with it, and lean right back in
2. Some are ok with a handshake but do not favor a kiss on the cheeks
3. Some are not only "not cool" with it at all, but they don't want to shake hands either.

What is an Arab?

I make a big fuss out of tea, therefore I'm Arabic?!

Let's take a step back...I remember back in uni, I joined the Arab Student Association. In their intro, they said that they would organize traditional Arabic things like going out to have shisha and play cards. I sat there and thought "well if you don't do both, are you a REAL Arab?"

How is one an Arab?
Is it by being born in an Arabic country - didn't do that one
Is it speaking the language? - it can't be, otherwise I'd be English/French
Is it loving meat - ahhh meat
Is it living with your parents till u get married - Italians & Indians do that too
Is it by being hospitable and generous - humanity makes anyone kind & true
Is it talking with your hands, laughing out loud, having an obscene number of relatives, and regularly knocking on wood to rid yourself of the "evil eye"? - helloooo Greeks!