Breasts

Breasts are beautiful.

Breasts cushion your fall when you find yourself flat on your face.
Breasts protect your internal organs when you find a football going straight into your chest in front of a huge audience (True story. It didn't even hurt. Ball bounced halfway to field).
Breasts are floating devices. Test it, it's true.
Breasts ooze yummy delicious healthy food. I'm referring to a baby's perspective.
Breasts are a girl's best friend, they are always there for you. They're good listeners, and even hold your tears when you're crying.
Breasts are fun. Don't you enjoy how they bounce to music when you do?
Breasts are sexy.

It would be a crying shame if we lose them.

 As you may know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so I wanted to blog about breasts and the ways to take care of them. I am by no means an expert on the topic, nor am I a doctor or a specialist in this field. However, those are some tips I'd like to share with you so you can take care of your beautiful breasts. Now should you be a man, I'd think the following would give you some more insight into the breasts you probably are already really into.

1. Does Size Matters?
Yes it does. Knowing the size of your breasts is the first step you should do to get to know them. And there's no better way to get your breasts measured than by a trained professional at a lingerie shop, or department store. Now should you want to opt for a self examination, you will realize that the "handful" measure isn't the most accurate method of measurement, it just doesn't work when you walk into a lingerie shop and ask for a bra that's "this many". So behold the way to measure it more accurately, you will need a measuring tape and measure 2 areas on your chest.

• First, measure the circumference of your body directly below your chest (A).

• Second, measure the circumference of the fullest part of your breasts while you are wearing a non padded bra (B). Remember to keep the tape parallel to the floor, and not tight on the breasts. 

• Once you have both measures, see if the number of inches of (A) is even or odd. If it's even, add 4 inches to the measure you got. If odd, add 5 inches. That number is the number in your bra size: the 34, 36, 38 number.

• Now, look at your measurement (A), after adding the inches, and the measurement of (B) and subtract (B)-(A). The difference in inches will determine your cup size. Each inch of difference is a cup size starting from 1 inch being an A cup, 2 inches is a B cup, and so on.

A simple chart that explain this could be found here

2. Bras
Now I happen to be somewhat of a bra expert as I've worked at a very famous lingerie company; the one that invented the push-up bra actually. A very "supportive" company I may add, but I digress. Bras are very important to breast well being. In French, bras are called "Soutien-Gorge" where "soutien" means support. Problem is, this "support" isn't working well as many women wear ill-fitting bras. So the first step to wear a good fitting bra is simply to know your size, and then make sure you know how to spot the tell-tale signs of a bad fitting bra:

• Sore shoulders - straps too tight or too much weight on them if bra is too big
• Wrinkles on your cup - bra cup too big
• Bra band rides up in your back - bra size (A) is too big
• Bra digs deep in your skin creating big lumps - bra size (A) is too small
• Falling out - bra cup is too small
• Center front of the bra should lie flat on your chest and not on your breast tissue. If it does the latter, then bra is too small

3. Look Good Feel Good
With breasts being so amazing, how dare you cover them in awful, ugly, bras. I don't want to hear another lame excuse like: it's so comfortable; it's beige like my skin tone; it's laundry day. Shhhhhhush
You are hurting your breasts' feelings by covering it with nastiness. There are plenty of beautiful bras that are comfortable, practical, and oh the horror, beautiful. The rule is simple, try out a bra from a bra store not a fashion store, walk a bit in the dressing room if possible to test the jiggle factor, keep an eye of the tell-tale signs above, see if you look luscious, and you're good to go.

4. Meet n' Greet
Bed time and Bath time are one of the rare times of the day when you have a strong mind-body connection. Use this time as your opportunity to meet and greet your body by looking at it well and noticing any changes that happen over time. In particular, look at your breasts to notice any changes, and while lying down, use your right hand to feel your left breasts by going up and down - from the underarms till the middle of your chest at varying pressures; lightest at the underarm area, and deepest closer to the middle of the chest.
Breast Self Examination technique

5. Mars vs. Venus MD
Male doctors examining breasts is not very comforting to some women, particularly Arab women. We would do it to get reassured with the results, or if we know a particular male doctor is good, but if it isn't comfortable to you, request a female doctor. You need to be comfortable with the doctor and not worried about undressing and having them touch you. This is a little controversial I must admit, but let's be clear that doctors are not holy people. Doctors are normal people with their own flaws like everyone else, and the slight possibility that a male doctor can do a T.U.B.E. is beyond awful. In case you are not aware of T.U.B.E, well this is where I come in to explain. TUBE is a term that means Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination! What's worse, is that the patient can be transferred to another doctor who would perform yet another TUBE "just to make sure" that your breasts meet and greet with more hospital staff. Of course, there are numerous professional male doctors who go out of their way to make sure you are comfortable, but alas, not every doctor is. I'd rather skip the drama and peep show and opt for a female MD.

6. Trust your Gut
Similar to the feeling of being watched, when you feel that something is not right, chances are it isn't. Don't take chances and talk to a doctor right away. If you are not satisfied with the result, do another checkup and see another doctor for a second opinion. Health and well being isn't something you can take for granted, nor ignore. Heck, a car needs to be checked and serviced regularly, do the same with your body that is the ultimate machine and most magnificent creation.

So let's take a cue from the men and love our breasts, look at them, touch them, play with them.

squeeshy squeeshy squeeshy