Introspection

Life after TedxDubai...
The event was extraordinary. Though none of the speakers were briefed on what to say, there was a recurring theme of: Introspection, Positivity, Dreaming, and Persistence. To start with Introspection, I thought I'd look into myself, to understand myself better so I can picture my future in the best, most realistic way.

Well, that was a can of worms!

You see, I, like many modern Arab women, am a big bunch of confetti. Modern Arab women may know who they are, know their values, but when defining them, it's a collection of many contradictions. Let me explain....

Residence...I have lived in 3 continents. One was European, the other in the Middle East, the third in North America. I know, I know, typical Arab. And in true Arab style, our family has moved for career, education, economic and political stability, so we ended up being a mix of all the places we lived in and all the travels we've made. I have very strong patriotism to where I'm from, though I've never lived there. I love the country I'm residing in now, and it's truly, completely, undoubtedly my home. As for the European and North American cities I've lived in, transit. Can't possibly be home, even though I was born in one of them.

Personality...well, I am very open, love everyone, respect everyone, love to try and experiment new things, very adventurous, and embrace culture and diversity with open arms. Then all of a sudden, I turn into a conservative woman with values that I won't budge from in a million years. I'm a woman, but I think like a man. I'm social, but I'm very shy. In a recent team building exercise at work, I did a personality test. Guess what. I turned out to be a mix of 3 personalities (out of a possible 4). The main 2 show that I am a people person, half extrovert, half introvert, like myself, but care a lot about others, a big talker, but a strong listener, love going out, but a home body too. Schizophrenic you say? Yeah, big time.

Music...I listen to alternative, house, R&B, hip hop, instrumental music, sounds of the tantalizing Oud, Indian music, Brit pop, Armenian music, Khaleeji music, Arabic music, and Jazz. Then I start going crazy, jumping and dancing to m'aalaya (a Khaleeji genre that's not so cultured if I can put it politely).

Looks...I look like I come from the world! Hair dark, eyes light, skin color...errr, depends on the season. I love fashion too, my style could be anything ranging from preppy, chic, to grunge, or casual. I can show some leg, but find it REALLY difficult to go sleeveless. Go figure.

Education...schooling in the Middle East, done the SATs, GCSEs and high school diploma (see, even in high school I couldn't make up my mind). Went to North America for uni, studied a major out of my sister's recommendation though I had no clue about it. Once I realized I hated it, I continued, got my degree, then went back to uni to do my grad in what I enjoyed.

Career...lingerie and tech industries. Enough said.

So what's next for a woman who hasn't made up her mind her whole life, who has never been able to categorize herself? 3 words:
"diversify your portfolio"
I'm still young, and being someone who likes a lot of things but doesn't know what she wants, the desire to explore and enjoy is strong. I have a lot to learn. I've heard the speakers at TedxDubai referring to corporations as evil, but I think there's so much to learn from multinational corporations. I should stay put, learn and hone my skills so that when I'm ready, I can make that big jump into anything I want. One thing I've learnt is that even if 10 people think one idea is great, that doesn't grant not doing the right surveying and planning before attempting any project. I'm sure I can learn those skills at world class corporations better than I ever would starting a business on my own at this stage.

Isn't introspection great! Now I'm off to dreaming.....