Designer handbag or building a school? You choose

Last night I had a dream that I was gifted a Louis Vuitton bag worth 10,000 USD. I vividly remember the bag: plum flap and the bottom was gold and it had a golden chain. Gorgeous bag. I thought I was buying the bag myself, but the sales rep said this bag was already chosen for me and the person has already paid for it. When I realized that the currency was not in dirhams (AED), I was stunned. I took the bag and went to the person who gifted it to me and negotiated that I would accept another bag instead, something that is a lot more reasonable. The person insisted that they are happy to spend this amount and would not budge. I then negotiated that I would refund the bag and would buy a normal priced designer bag for 1500 USD and the rest of the money would be donated to build a mosque.

Then I woke up.

You're married, not in couple confinement

Congratulations, I am so happy you finally found the man of your dreams and got married.
So lovely that since you got engaged, you became so enamored with this man and spend lots of quality bonding time together. It's great that you "get" each other, and enjoy lots of activities together; whether it's going out to movies, dinners, hobbies, or even just chillaxin at home. Good for you.

So I, your friend, called you about 60,000 times but couldn't get a hold of you. You aren't responding to my texts either, or just send in the "I'm busy with hubby" standard response. WTH! I used to be your booty call! When you had nothing to do and nowhere to go, and was lonely and bored, you called me and I would happily oblige to go out with you and keep you company. For me, it never mattered the last minute call, you're a friend and I love spending time with you.

But now you're married, and you got NLSS: No Longer Single Syndrome.

What exactly is NLSS?

NLSS happens to some girls at the moment of engagement. To the recipient of this terrible syndrome, their symptoms include the following thoughts:

1. Excitement at the thought of having a man in my life.
2. I have a wedding to plan!
3. I need to get close to my in laws.
4. I will wear a beautiful diamond ring.
5. I will update my status on Facebook so no one feels sorry for me anymore.
6. My profile pic on Facebook will include 2 heads or 2 hands exchanging rings; either are acceptable.
7. I will have someone to go shopping with, and/or can buy me stuff.
8. I need to laser my body hair before getting married.
9. I need to lose weight.
10. I need to hide all evidence of previous relationships.
11. I will send songs dedicated to my man.
12. I have all these amazing married couples I must start hanging out with them from now on.
13. I will sit with the married women in all major events, and not have to sit at the kids table anymore.
14. If an "adult" topic comes up, I will no longer be asked to get more tea for the people and can actually listen to the whole thing!
15. I will finally have someone I can call before falling asleep and play "no you hang up".
16. Hubby will no longer hang out with his single friends, they're just a bad influence.
17. I don't have time to hang out with my single friends, they just don't get it, they have no responsibilities like an engaged/married woman does. Their life is so frivolous and easy.

It's a tragic syndrome. With all the above symptoms, there is no room for the old trusted friends. And the new couple friends they just have to hang out with, at some point, they themselves labelled them as boring. 

It's quite sad, because at some point, the darling hubby will get suffocated with all the smothering and will want to hang out with his male friends and guess the food eaten after any one of them farts. At that moment of truth, the married girl will sit all alone at home and will call her old trusted friends begging them to go out, and laying out the excuses of all the work that a married life entails. 

If you are married, or about to get married, you shouldn't forget who your real friends are. Granted there are lots of new elements added into your life, but you need to balance your life where in a week, you have a day with your friends, a day with your family, and a day with your hubby. Don't reach that point where you lose connection with your real friends and then they "come back" to you in pity, or for old-times sake. 

Don't reach that stage with your real friends, because if they don't come back to you, what else can you do, you certainly won't be invited to the fart-smelling contests.

Big Fat Arab Wedding

I last blogged in October, 3 months ago, or a million years in Internet time. I've had writer's block, been busy, moved houses, lived a little, but most of all, missed you.

During those 3 months, I've been to several important Arab events - in other words, weddings.
This utterly important day in the life of an Arab has evolved over the years. Traditionally, people married young, where the man's main desired qualities were his manners, character and his upholding of religious values. The woman's desired qualities were her family descent, her looks, her wealth, and her upholding of religious values. As such, it was not always the case that the man had a paying job, so it was quite common that the wedding was paid for by the groom's family. It was a huge affair involving family, friends, and friends of friends. Telling the world that there is a couple who now belong to each other and they invite you to join together in the aura of their happiness.

Nowadays, the desired qualities in a man are:

1. Has a good paying job, so he can support the spouse and future kids in a comfortable fashion that the bride has or has never gotten accustom to
2. Is kind, funny, sensitive, romantic, generous, a mind reader
3. Good looking, with a full head of hair, and preferably a six pack (abdominal 6 pack, not the beer)
4. Can open jars
5. Kills spiders

Introspection

Life after TedxDubai...
The event was extraordinary. Though none of the speakers were briefed on what to say, there was a recurring theme of: Introspection, Positivity, Dreaming, and Persistence. To start with Introspection, I thought I'd look into myself, to understand myself better so I can picture my future in the best, most realistic way.

Well, that was a can of worms!

You see, I, like many modern Arab women, am a big bunch of confetti. Modern Arab women may know who they are, know their values, but when defining them, it's a collection of many contradictions. Let me explain....

Residence...I have lived in 3 continents. One was European, the other in the Middle East, the third in North America. I know, I know, typical Arab. And in true Arab style, our family has moved for career, education, economic and political stability, so we ended up being a mix of all the places we lived in and all the travels we've made. I have very strong patriotism to where I'm from, though I've never lived there. I love the country I'm residing in now, and it's truly, completely, undoubtedly my home. As for the European and North American cities I've lived in, transit. Can't possibly be home, even though I was born in one of them.

Huggy Huggy Kissy Kissy

Ramadan Kareem everyone. Mbarak aalekum il shahar :)
Today I was invited to the company Iftar party at one of the nice Dubai hotels. All was going great: there was a prayer room set up and ready, a HUGE line up of food, employees brought their families so you had kids with face paint fighting with balloon swords, people introducing their spouses to others...all in all, it was a success.

After the get together, I waited for my car at the valet (not a fan, but I couldn't find parking myself). And there it happened, I saw a male x-employee with his wife walking over to say hi, he was happy to see me and planted a kiss on my cheek. Now different Arabic women respond differently to the kiss on the cheeks (the mmwah mmwah from one cheek to the next). Their reaction falls according to the following categories:

1. Some are down with it, and lean right back in
2. Some are ok with a handshake but do not favor a kiss on the cheeks
3. Some are not only "not cool" with it at all, but they don't want to shake hands either.